Good Evening My Fellow Americans:
It is under good advisement that I, Elyse Poland, AKA. Oh Wise One, have decided to run for President of the United States of America.
This decision has been weighing heavy on my heart recently, so after many discussions with trusted colleagues, the spirits, family, gentle creatures of the land, and friends I have decided that the country would be in a much better state if I were in charge.
The plethora of debates that have occurred between the current candidates has left the American public wanting. Enough about how to kill the cow, just kill it already. I want some dadgum steak. All the rhetoric being flaunted has shown nothing but good speech writing. I will be hiring Ben Stein as my head writer. And while their words may be inspiring to some, I am left looking for the silver lining. Oh lordy! here comes the rapture.
This public announcement is to present myself as the silver lining. In the rain storm that is our political system, I shall be a beacon of hope, a ray of sunshine, the pot of gold at the end of the fricking rainbow! I will right the wrongs that have unjustly graced our nation, abolish the IRS, and save the rainforest. Oh wait that's another nation. I will reduce our dependancy on oil, get us out of Iraq and into Afghanistan and Pakistan, and save the lemurs while I'm at it.
Gun control? Teach your kids the proper usage and respect for a rifle. Censorship? Teach your kids to be respectful of others and what they hear on TV won't be repeated. Sex Education? Quit being prudes and open up to your kids no matter how embarrassing it is to you and them.
If you still wonder where I stand regarding the important issues such as health care, social security, the economy, or the endangered whales, please contact my very handsome yet extremely under-qualified assistant, Todd. He will get back with you in a timely manner.
Until the blessed day arrives, take care of yourselves and each other. God Bless!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Matters of the Heart
Am I doing something wrong? I'm 23, hot, smart, and employed. Granted, there have never been guys beating down my door, so I don't really expect that to change. But I would like to know that there are some out there who are willing to want me.
Well ok, there have been quite a few who I have been talking to recently, however, none of them will make any sort of effort to show me that they want more from me. I'm not looking for marriage; I don't know if I even really believe in the institution of marriage. But dammit, I want more than one night. Now none of the fellas I've been talking to have had that opportunity. Hell only one of them is in a close enough proximity to even think about it realistically. But none will make an effort. I want to know that I'm not gonna end up an old maid!
Part of me is perfectly content with how things are. But then there is this voice in the back of my head telling me that I need to find that certain someone and soon. I have some pretty awesome friends, and my family isn't to shabby either. But there is this one nagging voice telling me that the next step is finding the person, and I am a huge failure at doing so. I went to youth tonight to 'help' one of my good friends who is the leader. There one of the girls, who is 12 by the way, was so happy because it's been two weeks and her boyfriend hasn't broken up with her yet. I sadly feel the same way when in a relationship, still at 23. Why does 2 weeks feel like an accomplishment? It's not in the grand scheme of things; it's a blip. But then again I can't even get a date with someone. Why do I feel pressured to find someone now!? Like my life has no meaning without someone else in it. I know it's not a legitimate concern but I sometimes feel that I won't be taken seriously in a job interview for a teaching position unless I have a spouse to mention. Like having someone else around gives me more credibility.
Patience....patience...patience. I'll get there; I just need to get comfortable with my own timetable...whatever it looks like!
Well ok, there have been quite a few who I have been talking to recently, however, none of them will make any sort of effort to show me that they want more from me. I'm not looking for marriage; I don't know if I even really believe in the institution of marriage. But dammit, I want more than one night. Now none of the fellas I've been talking to have had that opportunity. Hell only one of them is in a close enough proximity to even think about it realistically. But none will make an effort. I want to know that I'm not gonna end up an old maid!
Part of me is perfectly content with how things are. But then there is this voice in the back of my head telling me that I need to find that certain someone and soon. I have some pretty awesome friends, and my family isn't to shabby either. But there is this one nagging voice telling me that the next step is finding the person, and I am a huge failure at doing so. I went to youth tonight to 'help' one of my good friends who is the leader. There one of the girls, who is 12 by the way, was so happy because it's been two weeks and her boyfriend hasn't broken up with her yet. I sadly feel the same way when in a relationship, still at 23. Why does 2 weeks feel like an accomplishment? It's not in the grand scheme of things; it's a blip. But then again I can't even get a date with someone. Why do I feel pressured to find someone now!? Like my life has no meaning without someone else in it. I know it's not a legitimate concern but I sometimes feel that I won't be taken seriously in a job interview for a teaching position unless I have a spouse to mention. Like having someone else around gives me more credibility.
Patience....patience...patience. I'll get there; I just need to get comfortable with my own timetable...whatever it looks like!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Dawning
I try to write out my thoughts into a coherent literary piece, but then I realize that I was not the family member blessed with the talent of writing. However my skills in oratory are much more impressive.
Typically I blog when I'm depressed or feeling sorry for myself. That could be why I'm having such a hard time writing lately. I have nothing to complain about. I am happy with pretty much every aspect of my life. I have two jobs, one I absolutely hate and one I semi like. I am pretty sure I received my teaching license this week. In mid-April my opportunities for a real big kid job will appear. I am single because I want to be right now. I would rather be by myself than in a bad relationship. I no longer want to settle just because I'm tired of being lonely. Life is going great. Sure I get bored every once and a while, and I am more than ready for warmer weather, but right now I really can't complain.
I still feel called to Africa. Luckily, being a teacher will allow me my summers off to explore the rest of the world. I've done a little bit of research on the African Sustainable Protein Project, and I want to volunteer. However, it is entirely voluntary so I would have to save a lot of money, and I need to do a lot more research so it won't be next summer. I'll get there though.
Typically I blog when I'm depressed or feeling sorry for myself. That could be why I'm having such a hard time writing lately. I have nothing to complain about. I am happy with pretty much every aspect of my life. I have two jobs, one I absolutely hate and one I semi like. I am pretty sure I received my teaching license this week. In mid-April my opportunities for a real big kid job will appear. I am single because I want to be right now. I would rather be by myself than in a bad relationship. I no longer want to settle just because I'm tired of being lonely. Life is going great. Sure I get bored every once and a while, and I am more than ready for warmer weather, but right now I really can't complain.
I still feel called to Africa. Luckily, being a teacher will allow me my summers off to explore the rest of the world. I've done a little bit of research on the African Sustainable Protein Project, and I want to volunteer. However, it is entirely voluntary so I would have to save a lot of money, and I need to do a lot more research so it won't be next summer. I'll get there though.
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