Hollywood or real life? Which would you choose?
The romantic comedy or The Bachelor would have you believe that love is caused and becomes strong after a series of awkward moments that lead to a perfectly planned and executed day/evening. The right lighting, flowers, chocolates, a quiet restaurant, a nightcap that leads to something a little racier seems to be the ingredients in the recipe for love and its expressions. Sexy lingerie and high heels guarantee she is in a good mood, and the recipe is baking at high temperatures.
But what about real life? When a real person plans this sort of night, it's possible to make it seamless and smooth, however, it's a lot of pressure when the lighting's not perfect or the chocolates are melted. A real person has a lot to live up to when planning such a night. It takes a lot of coordination and a lot of money and tips to do so. The planner has to hope for the good graces of the host/ess at the restaurant, the cooperation of the hotel, the fickleness of the weather to stay at bay, and an open flame to dance away from flammable materials that may cross its path. That's a lot to think about, to worry about. Thus it puts a lot of pressure on a person to make that Hollywood night *perfect.*
Here's the real life I like. A clean house, a self-cooked meal, candlelight at dinner, soft music playing in the background, a little wine all rolled together makes for a very-low pressure romantic time. What's even better than that, spontaneity. No plans. Take a walk. Have a conversation. People watch. Window shop. Toss a football. There are a million activities that can lead to the most romantic date without the pressure of hitting a mark at a specified time. Go with the flow. The simple activities of building a life together can be some of the most memorable times two people can have, walking the dog together, cooking together, cleaning together, living life together. These are the moments that make a life, that make up a romantic story. These are the moments in the Hollywood mashed up montage.
That being said, Hollywood has ruined dating and relationships. How many people have Hollywood expectations about how a relationship is supposed to develop or how a date is supposed to look, act, feel? No man could ever live up to the team of people that create these scenes. Some women don't necessarily like the fancy wine and dine motif anyway. But we should always strive to recognize the effort given, even if we'd prefer something else. Hollywood is for the rich and famous. The real world is messy and hard. Hollywood has hired hands. The real world has only our tired hands.
The goal should always be to alleviate stress, worry, and anxiety. There is no need to worry about being perfect, because it doesn't exist. So, I charge you, any one who is reading, to go and be imperfect, just love as you be it.
