Most out there who personally know me, know my husband, Will, and I are trying to start a family. Who would've thought that when you want kids, its actually a hard thing to create. I mean teenagers and stupid people procreate all the time without even wanting to, but when smart people like my husband and I want a family, it takes a lot of time and heartache.
To be fair, we have only been trying for 5 months. That is not a long time compared to some couples who have been trying for years. But it is a long time to me. I can see 30 approaching way too quickly, and I don't like it. I'm not afraid of 30 persay, but more afraid of giving birth after 30. I want to do this naturally; I do NOT want a c-section. For some women that is the right path, but I do not want that to be our path. I turn 28 in 2 weeks. Sure that's still 2 years away from 30, but I have to spend 9 months of that cooking the little bugger before I can give birth. 2 years is not a lot of time.
I know we would be great parents. We both had some pretty good examples of what to do and what not to do. But first we have to get pregnant. I promise we're trying. Really hard too. I'm reading every article I can about how to get pregnant, how to ensure conception, which days are best, when I'm most fertile, etc... Since I'm not pregnant yet, I can't help but feel like a failure, like I can't provide this family we imagine. Again, I know it s only been 5 months and I shouldn't let it bother me so much, but I can't help it.
That's all I have for now. I feel like I'm about to start crying, so I'm stopping.
